So homosexuality has been decriminalized in Delhi and as everyone is pointing out, the decision doesn't bind other states. Perhaps, but claiming Delhi is a huge victory and I doubt that this discussion will ever be reopened to this degree. There was at first much confusion (caused no doubt by media persons with the IQ of snails) about whether this means gay marriages will abound, but for now it just means that gay relationships are not criminal. Section 377 criminalized voluntary carnal intercourse (explanation: penetration) against the order of nature, and was generally understood to mean penetrative sex other than penal-vaginal intercourse. So you see, everyone out there ever having had oral sex was also technically a criminal and gay women were not strictly within the purview of this provision. What a nightmare of a law! The gay community is, of course, ecstatic at its repeal. Religious leaders maintain that homosexuality may be against religion but should not be criminal (so now its a sin and not a crime). The reactions seem to signal that Delhi is perhaps ready for the openly gay. When the first euphoria wears off and gay couples surface in the city, it remains to be seen whether they will be treated with respect or not.
Speaking of morality, crime and sin, a must mention is Rakhi Sawant. Unlike junta, I have not been following Rakhi's swayamvar but I understand that she upbraided some poor guy for bringing her Bacardi with cranberry juice. My first thought was that perhaps she's allergic to cranberries. But apparently the redoubtable Ms. Sawant claims that, being an Indian woman, she does not drink. Its sad that our movies and our actresses, even item girls who are far from role models, are forced to pay lip service to the bharatiya nari stereotype that only exists in Smriti Irani serials. This strange and for most part non-existent-in-real-life standard applies to everything from booze to sex. In Kambakht Ishq which I watched the other day, Amrita Arora whose character is a lingerie model claims to never have had sex with her boyfriend, marries the boyfriend and demands that he prove his love by refraining from having sex with her for 3 months. Sounds like grounds for insanity to me. Now really what does abstinence (from alcohol and from sex) have to do with being Indian? I should hope that the identity of any Indian woman is constructed around so much more than these bogus sham values that are frankly just annoying. Its like watching movies from the late 60's and 70's where women who wore western clothes and worked inevitably had failed marriages or got raped by their bosses; or the even older 50's and 60's movies where the ultimate justice and reparation for a rape victim was to marry the perpetrator. These ideas of what women should and should not do are just that ridiculous.
Moving on to more interesting Indian women, Mayawati has destroyed 5 acres of green close to my house in Noida to build another one of her Dalit memorials. This is not just misappropriation of public funds but also an extremely eco unfriendly move. Convinces me yet again that uneducated leaders and caste politics is not the way to go. But the one good thing that does come of this is that, in all likelihood, Mayawati's ambitions to capture central government have with this move been flushed down the toilet. She has also made it difficult for herself to come back to power in UP again for a second term with this incredibly people unfriendly move, and while her captive caste vote bank may continue to stand by her, the thinking population will (hopefully) not. In the end though, like with everything else I guess it boils down to a question of alternatives and Mulayam Singh is not much of one. In UP the last few terms have been plagued with one party determinedly undoing what the other one has done in its term. Time to stop bringing toddler playground politics into the state arena and focus on some 'Development' (God I hate that word- its so loaded).
I'm enjoying getting back into the groove of things happening at home. Its nice to read the newspaper and care about whats going on as opposed to just reading it and storing it away as information.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
My Freedom to Be
I'm reading about Justice Katju's remarks on beards and the taliban and a schoolgoing boy's desire to keep his beard.
First of all, Im not sure this is something I would analyze as just a right that has something to do with religious freedom. Its also a freedom of expression issue. Perhaps living in America for the last year has influenced this train of thought- but why don't we allow school going children the license of free expression? I remember in school I was always being told not to paint my nails, wear smaller earrings. I think in some way it was a modesty thing- somehow linked to the idea that girls should be modest and not think about appearance to much, not try to attract attention to themselves. Thinking back I wonder just why those things, enforced in the name of discipline, were considered so important and exactly what purpose did they serve? (Yes, Im singing "leave us kids alone" in my head.) In all seriousness, what really is gained in denying children the license to have some freedom of expression? Like a beard or painted nails or bigger than 1 cm in diameter earrings? That is my ideological problem.
Secondly, Secularism is of two varieties (and this is something I never tire of talking about so those who have already heard this can skip this part). The first kind of secularism believes that the state has no religion and the state recognizes no religion and therefore everyone must be treated as equal, no special rules for anyone and no exceptions. The second school of secularism believes that the state recognizes and respects all religions and is sensitive to the differences between them and therefore permits exceptional treatment. The first is often called the "formal equality model". The second is sometimes referred to as the "substantive equality model". In India, ideas of equality emanating from Article 14 of the Constitution seem to adopt a substantive equality- "of treating like alike" and the discourse provides for differences within the framework of equality. Against this backdrop, it would seem the bearded teenager has a case wouldn't you say? But there is another rule that trumps this one- you can only force equality on the state so unless Salim's school qualifies as the "state", Salim is out.
I would imagine a substantive equality judge would say "Look, I empathize, but the school is not "state" so my hands are tied." And the formal equality judge would say "I don't believe you have a grievance. Anyway the school is not "state". Dismissed." What sort of judge gets into a discussion on the Taliban and Burkhas? Now, I like Justice Katju but equating bearded people with the Taliban? My principal in school would have been a key member of the Taliban were bushy beards a criteria! Also that he would make these remarks in a court is sad, makes him look more than a little ridiculous. Perhaps poor Justice Katju was just having a bad day at work...
First of all, Im not sure this is something I would analyze as just a right that has something to do with religious freedom. Its also a freedom of expression issue. Perhaps living in America for the last year has influenced this train of thought- but why don't we allow school going children the license of free expression? I remember in school I was always being told not to paint my nails, wear smaller earrings. I think in some way it was a modesty thing- somehow linked to the idea that girls should be modest and not think about appearance to much, not try to attract attention to themselves. Thinking back I wonder just why those things, enforced in the name of discipline, were considered so important and exactly what purpose did they serve? (Yes, Im singing "leave us kids alone" in my head.) In all seriousness, what really is gained in denying children the license to have some freedom of expression? Like a beard or painted nails or bigger than 1 cm in diameter earrings? That is my ideological problem.
Secondly, Secularism is of two varieties (and this is something I never tire of talking about so those who have already heard this can skip this part). The first kind of secularism believes that the state has no religion and the state recognizes no religion and therefore everyone must be treated as equal, no special rules for anyone and no exceptions. The second school of secularism believes that the state recognizes and respects all religions and is sensitive to the differences between them and therefore permits exceptional treatment. The first is often called the "formal equality model". The second is sometimes referred to as the "substantive equality model". In India, ideas of equality emanating from Article 14 of the Constitution seem to adopt a substantive equality- "of treating like alike" and the discourse provides for differences within the framework of equality. Against this backdrop, it would seem the bearded teenager has a case wouldn't you say? But there is another rule that trumps this one- you can only force equality on the state so unless Salim's school qualifies as the "state", Salim is out.
I would imagine a substantive equality judge would say "Look, I empathize, but the school is not "state" so my hands are tied." And the formal equality judge would say "I don't believe you have a grievance. Anyway the school is not "state". Dismissed." What sort of judge gets into a discussion on the Taliban and Burkhas? Now, I like Justice Katju but equating bearded people with the Taliban? My principal in school would have been a key member of the Taliban were bushy beards a criteria! Also that he would make these remarks in a court is sad, makes him look more than a little ridiculous. Perhaps poor Justice Katju was just having a bad day at work...
Monday, March 9, 2009
Daylight Saving
Okay, so I didn't complain when we came off daylight saving a few months ago because I gained an hour. Waking up at 10 a.m. and then realizing its actually 9 a.m. is fabulous. That extra hour is a gift, whoohooo, yaay! But going back on daylight saving yesterday, I feel cheated. I overslept without actually over sleeping! The only thing making me feel better is the thought that winter is over- its officially spring and the weather seems to have (finally) got that message loud and clear! Its beautiful: sunny with a nippy breeze. I wish I had a little garden or a balcony right now. But even just sitting by the window with the sun warming my face feels so great! especially on a full belly having overeaten at Chipotle, and with no class for days. Ahhh, this is the life!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Drunk and Drunker
Its Sunday evening and I'm still drunk from Saturday night...not hungover- really actually literally still drunk. My heads buzzing still and the room spins if I close my eyes. Definitely still not sober! I miss getting tanked on Saturdays and waking up on Sunday morning to order piping hot idli sambhar- settles the post booze uncertain tummy in no time at all! One year abroad is fun and necessary I think, but I want to live somewhere where I have the luxury of ordering in morning-after idlis with yummy sambhar and chutney. When I get back to India Im really going to pack on the pounds Im sure coz Im going eat like I haven't seen food this last year!
Well anyway, found a half decent substitute in pancakes with fruit and lots and lots of syrup. Had to make them myself- no home delivery for pancakes system in Philadelphia (and they call it a developed country, hah!)
I watched a movie snuggled up with my boyfriend- the movie was called 'and then she found me'. Helen Hunt looks at least 55 years old in the movie even though in real life shes 46 and in the movie she was supposed to be 40.
I also decided that the girl I dislike for no reason is not just plain (being plain is worse than being ugly because if you are ugly you are still distinctive- being plain is like being furniture), but also self satisfied and entirely too loud. As is her boyfriend. Sometimes I can't believe I fancied him. In my defense, I was probably bored and very likely suicidal (I worked at a law firm no- they make you feel that way) so I was not making the best decisions. Anyway so earlier in the week I met the boy I used to fancy and his hair looked like it had not been combed in a week and his skin looked grey and patchy - it could be that he looked terrible because he's recovering from illness but it pleased me to present my super hot boyfriend to him while he looked like a homeless guy- but still at the end of 15 minutes of talk, I was like 'sheesh! really Anjum, What were you thinking!' Even my boyfriend said 'really? that guy!?' Im pleased too in a way, makes me feel Im in a better league of non-loud, non-plain, non-homeless-looking people :-p
Yes, Im babbling but Im allowed to coz Im still drunk remember? And in my drunken (and hungry) frame of mind, I have decided to make Punjabi Kadhi for dinner. Wish me luck with that!
Well anyway, found a half decent substitute in pancakes with fruit and lots and lots of syrup. Had to make them myself- no home delivery for pancakes system in Philadelphia (and they call it a developed country, hah!)
I watched a movie snuggled up with my boyfriend- the movie was called 'and then she found me'. Helen Hunt looks at least 55 years old in the movie even though in real life shes 46 and in the movie she was supposed to be 40.
I also decided that the girl I dislike for no reason is not just plain (being plain is worse than being ugly because if you are ugly you are still distinctive- being plain is like being furniture), but also self satisfied and entirely too loud. As is her boyfriend. Sometimes I can't believe I fancied him. In my defense, I was probably bored and very likely suicidal (I worked at a law firm no- they make you feel that way) so I was not making the best decisions. Anyway so earlier in the week I met the boy I used to fancy and his hair looked like it had not been combed in a week and his skin looked grey and patchy - it could be that he looked terrible because he's recovering from illness but it pleased me to present my super hot boyfriend to him while he looked like a homeless guy- but still at the end of 15 minutes of talk, I was like 'sheesh! really Anjum, What were you thinking!' Even my boyfriend said 'really? that guy!?' Im pleased too in a way, makes me feel Im in a better league of non-loud, non-plain, non-homeless-looking people :-p
Yes, Im babbling but Im allowed to coz Im still drunk remember? And in my drunken (and hungry) frame of mind, I have decided to make Punjabi Kadhi for dinner. Wish me luck with that!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Professional Responsibility, Going Green and Such
Oh yes everyone, I'm done with the MPRE (hopefully for good but you can never tell!). The best part about the exam? I finished and walked out half-an-hour early to find that my gorgeous, wonderful boyfriend had woken up and dragged himself there and was waiting outside the examination hall for me! :-) Love is a wonderful feeling...
There are droves and herds of people walking around in green (some vague connection to St. Patricks day) and at the bars going crazy after two beers the way only American undergrads can. Its an incredible sight. Even more incredible is the week off. But on Friday the boyfriend leaves for home :(
Meanwhile, the sun is out and Im happy!
There are droves and herds of people walking around in green (some vague connection to St. Patricks day) and at the bars going crazy after two beers the way only American undergrads can. Its an incredible sight. Even more incredible is the week off. But on Friday the boyfriend leaves for home :(
Meanwhile, the sun is out and Im happy!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Emosonal Attyachaar
Heigho!
It seems while the rest of the world focusses on kick starting the economy and such, the state government of Karnataka has a different agenda - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Wont_allow_pub_culture_in_Karnataka/articleshow/4046929.cms
I cannot believe a government can sanction an assault on women peacefully enjoying their lives because of some perverse moral standard that they want to uphold or a political alliance that they want to develop. What about treating women with respect and not violating their personal space? No, its so much easier to just say "stay at home missy- your place is in the kitchen." I dont see any outrage about men drinking in public and how that is not part of our "culture".
Womens bodies and behavior are always the battleground for strange "moral" debates that have nothing to with culture or morals or even patriachal BS about what is good for women. It does have everything to do with the fact that some men just feel threatened by the new breed of empowered women.
So a working woman rushing to work is fair game for a little touchy-feely on the train because that is the only way that men can hurt that woman and upset her. And the same man who enjoys feeling up women and flashing schoolgirls will stand up and deliver the lecture on women and morals, pubs, clothes and the like. Tells you something doesnt it?
In my view, for the modern woman our values are reflected and embodied in things other than whether we wear jeans or salwar kameezes and enjoy the ocassional drink or not. Our culture is deeper rooted and more powerful than that. And living thousands of miles away from home, I see this clearer than ever before.
I think that these issues usually come up when society is a state of transistion and the change is hard for conventional wielders of power to swallow. But the violence is something that makes me both angry and ashamed. It tells me that to alot of men hitting women is okay. It sends the message that a "badly behaved" woman deserves to be assaulted. And that the state will sanction it.
It makes me feel unsafe. and traumatised.
It seems while the rest of the world focusses on kick starting the economy and such, the state government of Karnataka has a different agenda - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Wont_allow_pub_culture_in_Karnataka/articleshow/4046929.cms
I cannot believe a government can sanction an assault on women peacefully enjoying their lives because of some perverse moral standard that they want to uphold or a political alliance that they want to develop. What about treating women with respect and not violating their personal space? No, its so much easier to just say "stay at home missy- your place is in the kitchen." I dont see any outrage about men drinking in public and how that is not part of our "culture".
Womens bodies and behavior are always the battleground for strange "moral" debates that have nothing to with culture or morals or even patriachal BS about what is good for women. It does have everything to do with the fact that some men just feel threatened by the new breed of empowered women.
So a working woman rushing to work is fair game for a little touchy-feely on the train because that is the only way that men can hurt that woman and upset her. And the same man who enjoys feeling up women and flashing schoolgirls will stand up and deliver the lecture on women and morals, pubs, clothes and the like. Tells you something doesnt it?
In my view, for the modern woman our values are reflected and embodied in things other than whether we wear jeans or salwar kameezes and enjoy the ocassional drink or not. Our culture is deeper rooted and more powerful than that. And living thousands of miles away from home, I see this clearer than ever before.
I think that these issues usually come up when society is a state of transistion and the change is hard for conventional wielders of power to swallow. But the violence is something that makes me both angry and ashamed. It tells me that to alot of men hitting women is okay. It sends the message that a "badly behaved" woman deserves to be assaulted. And that the state will sanction it.
It makes me feel unsafe. and traumatised.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Living Extravagantly on Hope
A friend of mine recently had a facebook status update that said: "could it be that one should expect nothing and live frugally on suprises?"
Thinking about it, I feel that I never let go of expectation and nor have I ever lived being frugal with hope. I have over twenty five years convinced myself that most things figure themselves out: issues, problems, differences, they will all work out. I look at my life today: No job, huge loan, a relationship with someone from a completely different background, race and nationality. And I live everyday convinced that the pieces will all fall into place: I will find work that is paying enough to kick the loan and located somewhere in the world where I can be with the man I want to spend all my life with. Now thats a pretty tall order.
But at the moment, this conviction is my patronus against the many dementors that are sure to bring gloom and despair. It enables me to give a hundred per cent to the things that are important to me and also allows me to be happy. If I did not dare to hope, today would not be a happy day. Like she who said, "I am scattering a handful of rice and hoping for a paddy field" (Brick Lane- Monica Ali). I am hoping for nothing short of a miracle.
And so for now, I live extravagantly on hope.
Thinking about it, I feel that I never let go of expectation and nor have I ever lived being frugal with hope. I have over twenty five years convinced myself that most things figure themselves out: issues, problems, differences, they will all work out. I look at my life today: No job, huge loan, a relationship with someone from a completely different background, race and nationality. And I live everyday convinced that the pieces will all fall into place: I will find work that is paying enough to kick the loan and located somewhere in the world where I can be with the man I want to spend all my life with. Now thats a pretty tall order.
But at the moment, this conviction is my patronus against the many dementors that are sure to bring gloom and despair. It enables me to give a hundred per cent to the things that are important to me and also allows me to be happy. If I did not dare to hope, today would not be a happy day. Like she who said, "I am scattering a handful of rice and hoping for a paddy field" (Brick Lane- Monica Ali). I am hoping for nothing short of a miracle.
And so for now, I live extravagantly on hope.
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